I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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