Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
apparently the secret to your success is patron
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
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