grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
