When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
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I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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