Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
She said her name was "party"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
