Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
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