go do what you do best...puke behind churches
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize