We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
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