So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
