Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
