Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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