Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
