Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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