found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
