Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
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