They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
