how can u be prego again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
