Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
