Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
