I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You're a waste of cheezeits
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Randomize
