i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
