You're so nebulous sometimes
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
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What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
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Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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