Im at strip club and am horny
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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