we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
