Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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