sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize