You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Randomize
