we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
My hand turned me down
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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