Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Randomize
