you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
