I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
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