I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
