Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
