I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
