You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
