Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
