I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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