Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
