Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
