Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Randomize
