U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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