We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Randomize
