Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
