Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
