so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Randomize
