remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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