I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
