she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
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