Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
