He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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