He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
