I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Randomize
