maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
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