Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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