She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
