Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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