Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize