worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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