One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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