Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
