4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I am in a vortex of obligation.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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