I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize