I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
not ubering you a puppy
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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