we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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