Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize