The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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