Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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