these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
