please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Randomize
