Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
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